50 Shades of Grey's most notorious scene as read by Stephen Hawking

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I hate to admit this, but I've been a little behind the curve here when it comes to this whole 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon.

Yeah, I know all about the mommy-porn bestseller — and how it all began as a torrid bit of Twilight fan-fic — but I haven't had the chance to engorge myself on this tawdry tale about the deflowering of a 22-year-old virgin by a super-rich, super-kinky 27-year-old super-hunk. Honestly, I just don't have time to read about all the games that Christian Grey and his subbie sex kitten play.

So I went looking for an audiobook version of E.L. James' randy-dandy chart-topper. Fortunately, I came across one. And, well, I can see why 50 Shades of Grey has gotten all the taxicab soccer moms and midlifey wifeys all hot and bothered. As read by celebrated physicist Stephen Hawkins, this bit of smut would make C3PO blow a gasket and cause the HAL-9000 to shout out, "Dave," again and again and again.

Listen to the excerpt below and decide for yourself. Oh. And don't forget to break out the WD-40. You're gonna need it.

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