"Keep it cold, Kenneth Cole. You know." Those words might not mean a damn thing to you if you're unfamiliar with Riff Raff — the fairly infamous "rockstar who dabbles in hip-hop" — but let us assure you, that's just the tip of the quote-worthy iceberg. And because we're so kind, and because everyone really should know Riff Raff — a.k.a. "Jody Highroller," a.k.a. the "Marketing Money Marine," a.k.a. the "Rice Emperor," a.k.a. "the Rap Game Travis Tritt," a.k.a. "Skittles Be-Bop McGee" (see if you can guess which one of those I made up) — we've done the good deed of sifting through hours of nonsensical musings to bring you the very best quotes/advice/real talk Mr. Highroller has to offer. Riff Raff is your teacher, and class is now in session:
1. "If peeps get salty, give 'em some milk."
2. "If you set your alarm to wake up hatin', chances are your grandparents was haters too ... Some peeps are unhappy-able."
3. "Ice in ma ear gave me brain freeze."
4. "Never spill vodka on yourself. That shit burns. Just remember that."
5. "You been seen the ice. This ain't no middle-of-the-mall shit. Stupid jack-o-lantern, Michael Myers chain. Hello, Halloween. Merry Christmas."
6. "Stay on top, pork chop."
7. "You know I had got this fly swatter from east Japan. You know how we do. Refrigerator stays empty, 'cause I eats good."
8. "Gotta stay with dumb ice packs on ya wrist, and I been had get down like that. Tony Sherarigans. I been stayin' with Tony Sherarigan."
9. "You want some coffee? Pour you a pot, keep yo' head hot."
10. "I got this Gucci can trap opener, and yes it can and yes I WILL OPEN YOUR ASS UP WITH A CAN TRAP OPENER."
Relax. No one else really knows what he's talking about either.
Riff Raff will perform Fri. Jan. 23 at 10 p.m. at the Music Farm (32 Ann St.). Tickets are $30-$250, but the show is sold out. For more info, call (843) 577-6989 or visit musicfarm.com.
All quotes taken from YouTube interviews (Hot 97, Vlad TV, Riff Raff's own video).