by Chris Haire
James Cameron's Avatar is hazardous to your health. In fact, it's right up there with cigarettes, texting, and riding shotgun with former Charleston City Councilwoman Deborah Morinelli. It's bad. Very bad.
Or at least that's what CNN says. See according to the most trusted name in news, the 3-D remake of Dances with Wolves can gives you the blues. In fact, the blockbuster has made some fans to take drastic measures, i.e. to write woe-is-me drivel on Avatar forums.
Take this post:
"Ever since I went to see 'Avatar' I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na'vi made me want to be one of them. I can't stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it," Mike posted. "I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in 'Avatar.' "
And it gets worse, if one report out of Red China is to be believed (Courtesy of CBS): Avatar won't just make you blue; it will kill you:
Here's one tagline the blockbuster film "Avatar" probably doesn't want: It's so good it might kill you.
A 42-year-old Taiwanese man with a history of high blood pressure apparently died from a stroke while watching the film, Agence France Presse reported.
The reportedly felt ill while watching the film earlier this month, then headed to the hospital. When he arrived at the emergency room, he was unconscious, a doctors told AFP.
The man died 11 days later.
"It's likely that the over-excitement from watching the movie triggered his symptoms," Dr. Peng Chin-chih told AFP.
Or, um, a preexisiting condition, like, I don't know, high blood pressure.
Thanks, CNN and CBS, for further dumbing down America.