Nikki Haley's State of the State and the problem with political porn

by

2 comments

I'm a piss-poor political reporter.

I don't watch presidential speeches.

I don't watch debates.

And I don't give a rat's ass about the State of the Union speech.

So you can imagine how I feel about watching Nikki Haley's State of the State speech.

Yeah. I didn't watch it. In fact, when the wife walked in and saw me watching it, I felt embarassed, like she had caught me watching the porn parody of The Incredible Hulk, featuring Tori Black, the 2011 AVN Female Performer of the Year and star of over 200 adult films, an monumental feat for a, gulp, 22 year old.

You know, on second thought maybe I shouldn't have revealed that I knew so much about Miss Black, who recently displaced Sasha Grey as the queen of the porn world and who...

Crap. There I go again. This is embarrassing. In fact, it's almost as embarrassing as getting caught watching the porn parody of The Incredible Hulk, featuring Tori Black, the 2011 AVN Female Performer of the Year and star of over 200 adult films, an monumental feat for a, gulp, 22 year old.

The point is not that I that I know too much about Tori Black, but that for a guy who professes to be a political pundit, I really don't care all that much about keeping up with politics, especially at the state and local level.

Then again, that's doesn't make me all that different from you.

The thing is, ladies and gentlemen, we've been distracted from the politics and policies that affect us the most. We constantly look to Washington when we should be looking to Columbia. See, the decisions the guys and gals in the state General Assembly make impact our lives to a degree that only Uncle Sam dreams. And yet we look away.

Instead of discussing, dissecting, and dissing the actions of our state Legislators, we focus on national issues that have almost no impact locally. And we follow intently the ups and downs of politicians that have never and will never do a damn thing to or for the state of South Carolina. Why? It's entertaining to watch their antics, both the scary and the silly.

In a world where politicians like Sarah Palin, Joe Scarborough, and Mike Huckabee all have shows on the cable news networks, folks like Glenn McConnell, Hugh Leatherman, and Jake Knotts are a bunch of not ready for prime-time players. They're stammers, stumblers, and speech-writing amateurs. They are not polished performers. They are us.

And although they decide our fates, we would rather be distracted by the ever-ongoing horse race for the presidency and the soap opera antics of Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, John Boehner, and Michele Bachman.

The sad truth, ladies and gentlemen, is that we're addicted to political porn. And if that's the case, then the entire U.S. has devolved into a Triple-X parody.

That's why in 2012, I'll be voting for the Porn Party ticket: Tori Black for President, Sasha Grey for VP. If we're going to continue to get screwed, we might as well enjoy it.

Comments (2)

Showing 1-2 of 2

Add a comment
 

Add a comment