by Chris Haire
I don't get a monthly Social Security check.
I don't receive Medicare coverage.
And I don't see the need to send out endless tweets about how my entire staff will be furloughed, my offices will closed, and any paychecks I receive will be returned during the government shutdown like a certain sweet-talking, war-wongering, doughy-faced U.S. senator from Central, S.C. Nope.
And if I did sent out repeated tweets letting everybody know that my entire staff will be furloughed, my offices will closed, and any paychecks I receive will be returned during the government shutdown, I would damn well make sure that said shutdown had already happened.
So it should come as no surprise that I've avoided the majority of the reports about this whole bit of kabuki theater between the Democrats and the Republicans that currently has most of the nation in thrall. Yawn.
To quote Bernie Taupin, I've seen that movie too. And I returned it the next day to the Red Box.
Fortunately, the guys and gals at the Libertarian Party are doing their part to make a mockery of this mockery.
In a press release out today, the Libertarians note:
As elected officials put on a dog-and-pony media show about a temporary shutdown of small parts of the federal government, the Libertarian Party calls for a permanent shutdown of most of the federal government.
And, according to the Libertarians, a permanent government shutdown would usher in an era of global harmony and an end to global hegemony.
"The world would enjoy peace as we withdrew our forces from Iraq, Afghanistan, and Libya. Our government spends almost as much on the military as the rest of the world combined. Millions of industrious men and women who work for the military and its contractors could be focusing on building up our economy, rather than tearing down others'.
"Crime would plummet as the government's War on Drugs ended, no longer sustaining a giant violent black market and overfilling our prisons.
Or something like that.