by Chris Haire
There was a time when Monday Night Football mattered.
It's been awhile now.
A long time even.
But Monday Night Football used to be appointment television. It used to dominate the Nielsen ratings.
Now, it's just another football game that starts too late at night.
The same can more or less be said of Hank Williams Jr., the country boy singer who kicks off each Monday night game with yet another rendition of his classic honky tonker, "All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight." Yeah, there was a time when he mattered too.
But times change. The world moves on. Sunday Night Football becomes the new Monday Night Football and Bocephus gets banned from MNF for comparing President Barack Obama to Adolf Hitler.
According to Reuters:
Williams, a Republican, had appeared on a Fox News' morning television show "FOX and Friends" on Monday, and was asked which of his party's presidential candidates he liked.
"Nobody," he answered and then offered unprompted commentary on Obama's golf game this summer with House Speaker John Boehner. He called it a political mistake because "it turned a lot of people off."
Obama and Boehner played side by side that day against Vice President Joe Biden and Republican Ohio Governor John Kasich at the height of the congressional budget debate.
Asked what he did not like about the friendly bipartisan golf match, Williams replied, "Come on! It'd be like Hitler playing golf with [Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin] Netanyahu."
"They're the enemy! Obama! And Biden!" he added.
Hmm. I don't know about you, but I think ESPN dropped the ball here. In the analogs of Hitler comparisons — and believe you me, enough off-the-cuff comparisons have been made over the years by politios, entertainers, newspapermen, and average Joes to fill an entire book — this is one is rather mild.
I mean, technically speaking, it's not even clear that Hank Jr. compared Obama to Hitler, and if Bocephus did — the most likely scenario of course — it wasn't a particularly nasty comparison.
He didn't mention cattle cars or pograms or ghettos or parasites or concentration camps.
Truth be told, all Hank Jr. said was this one guy is on one team and this other guy is other the other and, well, those teams hate — I mean, really hate — each other, so why would they like hang out and drink beers and play golf and talk about which intern gives the best blowjobs. Right? It boggles the mind.
The only real mistake Bocephus makes is failing to realize that Obama and Boehner are buddies, like BFFs and all that shit. The truth of the matter is, all of the cats that call the Capitol their chief litter box are members of the same kennel club. They're in this thing together. If we really want to talk about one side versus another, it's us against them, not Democrats for Republicans. All of their differences are just for show.
Of course, I totally understand why ESPN/ABC/Disney banned Bocephus. It's what media outlets these days do — they overreact.
But as I've said before, if you can't speak ill of the president, then who the hell can you speak ill of.
Oh, and for the record, Obama is more than just Hitler.
He's the Joker.
And Darth Vader.
And Dr. Frank-N-Furter.
And Kevin Spacey in Se7en.
And Freddy Krueger and Jason ... combined.
He's even Nancy Grace and every other fictional character we've created to scare the beejezees out each other.
(As a side note, I don't know about you, but every time I hear the phrase "it's been awhile," I can't help but think of that damn Staind song. It's right up there with "Don't Stop Believin'" and "We Built This City on Rock 'n' Roll" as one of the worst songs of all time. I hope I've done my part in getting this awful ear worm stuck in your head. Not even Hitler would do that.)