by Chris Haire
Are you kidding me? After all of those meetings of the minds, that was the best that the City of Charleston and their enablers could come up with?
For the love of Crom, who in the hell actually believes that UP is a better name for the so-called Morrison Drive creative corridor than NoMo, the very thing that most people already call the area?
UP is what you call a class on dog training.
UP is something you say when you fuck up, like oops or d'oh.
UP is text-land shorthand for whassup.
UP is what you name a support group for men with erectile dysfunction.
I don't know about you, but this bit of PR-approved swill makes me want to throw UP.
Here's the deal, folks. NoMo works. Why? Because all of the businesses that currently make up the "creative corridor" are actually on Morrison Drive.
The only component of the creative corridor that isn't — 1600 Meeting St. — doesn't even exist yet. Hell, this proposed arts hub may not even happen, at least in the ways that the planners envision it.
But the businesses and shops on NoMo — the City Paper, Tattooed Moose, Santi's, Martha Lou's, GrowFood Carolina, DwellSmart, the Royal American, Cone 10, Charleston Home and Design, and Savage Ultimate — they are here today and they didn't need a group-think branding effort to do it. The transformation of the once-neglected Morrison Drive wasn't the result of committee meetings and group planning sessions and Power Point presentations. It was the result of real people sinking their money into a project and working hard to make their dreams a reality.
God I hate committees. Seriously, I can't tell you the number of times that a gaggle of milquetoast toadies and bland dandies have come together to craft a brand and have only embarrassed themselves.
I remember the Charlotte Spirit, the original name for the Charlotte Hornets. The much-maligned name was quickly changed.
I remember the Greenville Grrrowl, the one-time name of the Green Vegas' semi-pro hockey team.
I remember Whatisit, aka Izzy, the big-eyed sperm-looking mascot of the 1996 Atlanta Olympics that was universally condemned.
And don't even get me started on the Upper King Street Design District, which becomes less of a design district everyday ... that is if it ever was.
See, you can't designate something a design district or a creative corridor. Those things happen. And in the case of NoMo, well, if you just look at it, you'll see that it's not really a creative corridor after all. It's still pretty industrial and, in some parts, slummy. Most importantly, it's noticeably lacking in "creative" businesses.
I don't know about you but I think these people must be stopped. We must make a stand.
And that stand begins with NoMo. You can take UP and stick it up your ass.
UPDATE on UP:
I've been looking over the e-mail chain regarding the creation of a brand name for the Morrison Drive creative corridor, and it appears that the City of Charleston's Planning, Preservation & Sustainability office came up with the name. Sometime after that, it appears the decision was made to call the area UP, by who and when we have yet to determine. We hoping to have an answer about that soon.
And it also appears that the official name of the creative corridor, UP, was chosen before the first community meeting had even occurred. That meeting will apparently happen on Tues. March 6 at 5:30 pm at PS Studios. Not that it matters. The PR flackies and city planning hackies have apparently settled the matter. Assholes.