by Chris Haire
Almost as soon as right-wing muckraker and trash talker Andrew Breitbart died unexpectedly last week, conservative talk radio hosts, Freepers, Birthers, and other members of the mad-as-hell-and-we're-not-going-to-let-the-government-get-its-damn-hands-on-our-medicare wings of the GOP and the Tea Party began to eagerly debate the possibility that President Barack Obama had instructed his pinko goons to "assassinate" Breitbart. After all, at this year's CPAC Breitbart had declared that he had a video that was sure to end Obama's chances of getting re-elected.
Well, now we have the video in question, and it's, um ... watch it for yourself.
Seriously? You've got to be fucking kidding me?
I mean, are we actually supposed to believe that Obama, arguably the most powerful man in the world, instructed his stormpoopers to snuff out Breitbart for what amounts to a 30-second video showing the president hugging a former Harvard professor named Derrick Bell, a black fella who had some very strong opinions about the lack of racial equality in the United States? That's it? Really?
At the very least I was expecting a night-vision sex tape, featuring Obama in a four-way game of Astroglide Twister with Rahm Emanuel, Bill Ayers, and the ghost of Sal Alinsky. Consider me disappointed.