by Chris Haire
The world is full of despicable people committing despicable deeds.
The sick bastard who invented skinny jeans.
But none of these people are as detestable as that most diabolical of douchebags: the Hack.
No other person is capable of unleashing horrors upon the world like the Hack. And it is because of him that we have Nickelback, "50 Shades of Grey," and CBS' entire lineup of sitcoms. But as vile as these things are — and believe you me, I dare you to try to get through an episode of "Two Broke Girls" without feeling the uncontrollable urge to kill a kitten — nothing is quite as vile as the Hack's masterwork, "Piss Christ." Never has a work so devoid of meaning been talked about so much. And yet a quarter of a century later, this Hacksterpiece still finds a way to make the news.
Which brings us to Glenn Beck.
The one-time Fox News host who once had a near-death hemorrhoid experience has resurrected the "Piss Christ" contro by sparking a hangwringing hullabaloo himself.
In case you hadn't heard, Beck submerged an Obama bobblehead in a jar of urine and then he offered the work, "Obama in Pee Pee," for sale on eBay. After Beck's stunt went viral, the online auction site removed the work of art. Pussies.
Now, some folks claim that Beck was being disrespectful. Others simply distasteful. And then there are those who recognize the stunt for the well-designed bit of Barnum-esque showmanship that it was.
However silly Beck's stunt was, it would behove us as a people to recognize the importance of "Obama in Pee Pee" and what it means to the current state of politics today.
Yes, we are a sharply divided nation — with freedom-loving liberals on one side and goosestepping GOPers on the other.
Yes, today's talking head media world is overrun by shit-slinging charlatans, sycophantic spinmeisters, and milquetoast twatmops who refuse to call out the liars on their motherfucking lies.
This is all true.
But what is important here is that Beck has taken the posturing piss out of politics and reduced it to a literal pissing match. I, for one, welcome the change, and hope that we see more stunts of this caliber.
How about we start with Beck himself. I don't know about you, but I've just put down two cups of coffee and I've got to go really bad.