Today's 'freezing rain' closings explained

The cold hard truth


Like many of you, I scoffed yesterday when the Charleston County School District announced they were closing schools for today. And that scoffing only increased as other districts followed suit. By the time the City of Charleston, the Citadel, and scores of other scaredy cats decided to delay opening this morning, I was knee-deep in mockery and piss and vinegar. Frankly, I had to drink myself into a stupor just to calm down. 

But then somewhere around Manhattan three, I came to a realization about why every government entity and school district these days is so quick to close up shop anytime there's a threat of inclement weather, no matter how minor. Here's what I learned:

1. Our school buses are so old that they won't start when the weather gets too cold. This may sound silly to you, but it's the truth. I have a source. 

2. Fear of a lawsuit > Fear of an accident > Chance of an accident. 

3. Once the school districts close, it creates a cascading effect that forces other government entities to follow suit. Why? Who doesn't like a snow day, even an imaginary one?

4. Schools must announce closures a full day in advance so that parents, many of whom are members of two-income families or members of single-parent households, can arrange for childcare. 

5. Elsa. She's out there. And if there's one thing we all know, she's a public menace and must be stopped. Fortunately, we have the Hanahan Police Department to take care of that.

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