Southern Charm spreads to Savannah

Advice to our sister city

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Pack your things, Southern Charm's new spinoff is moving on down to Savannah - SCREENSHOT
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  • Pack your things, Southern Charm's new spinoff is moving on down to Savannah
Confirming what we have long known, Charleston-based reality spectacle Southern Charm will be returning for another season. Along with the official renewal announcement today from Bravo came the news that the series will be getting its very own spinoff — Southern Charm Savannah.

Yes, it’s spreading and there is little that can be done about it. But for our readers in the Savannah area, here’s a bit of what you can expect as Southern Charm invades your fair, historic city.

1. People will be very upset that the show is an insult to your city’s rich history and culture. They will make this clear by commenting on the internet. Those comments will be collected, cataloged, and stored in the local Hall of Records to tell future generations about the time that a courageous group of citizens banded together to protect a city beset by cable TV carpetbaggers.

2. Many of your local residents will watch the show simply because it is set in the city that they call home. This will seem novel to begin with, but soon constantly repeating establishing shots of old courthouses and carriage horses will invade your dreams. There will come a time when you can no longer discern whether you are asleep or on an endless walking tour of downtown. You will awake screaming, drenched in sweat, and next to you on the night stand will be a crumpled brochure for a ghost tour.

3. All your local media outlets will wade into the murky, infectious waters of episode recaps. Fighting to keep their heads above water in a bottomless sea of content, some will flounder, others will flourish. But none will make it back to solid ground unscathed.

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