President Kucinich and Seven Other Presidential Predictions

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For those of you who read the blog and not the paper, here's a link to our piece this week where we predict the presidencies of each candidate in advance of the Democratic debate. For example, here's a bit of our prediction on President Kucinich (those two words make me laugh every time):

The first thing President Kucinich will do is gloat. Which is okay, because we would too. He’ll get us out of Iraq (super fast) and he’ll repeal the Patriot Act. He’ll pull $65 billion in defense spending (no fancy staplers next year, soldier) and shift that money to “hometown security” initiatives like education, jobs, and health care. Most of that money will go toward early childhood education, with the only downside being more questions about Santa and the tooth fairy — the one pisser about smart kids. But they’ll be replaced with bogeyman stories the kids really will believe about presidential dynasties.

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