Pre-30 Bucket List

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I’m turning 30 very soon.  I mentioned this to my friend and he sarcastically asked me if I had made a bucket list of things to do before I turn 30.  Which I thought was a great idea.  Here is a list of things you have to do before you turn 30 because after that, it is just too late:

 

Getting a Tattoo:  Getting tattoos before you’re 30 is a way of finding yourself, a form of self-expression.  Getting a tattoo after you’re 30 is a cry for help.  I mean think about your grandkids asking you about your tattoo and what you’d have to tell them.

“I was 22 when I got this done.  I drove to New Orleans for Mardi Gras, drank for two straight days and I got a tattoo to celebrate the occasion.” That is a lot better then, “I was  31, on my lunch break, it was my third anniversary at Douche Bag and Associates, and I got this tattoo on my arm.  And I even made it to Jamba Juice before I had to go back to the office.”  Same principle applies to piercing of body, dying of hair, or any other body modification that is not Pilates.

 

New Drugs:  If you’re in your 20s it is perfectly acceptable to try a drug you have yet to experience.  It means you’re fun. You’re daring.  You’re a little crazy.  But if you’re trying new drugs once your past 30, your nuts.  What are you doing with your life?  Seriously.  Look at yourself in the mirror and get your act together.  You’ve been trying new drugs for 10 years.  What is left?  You’ll have to start inventing your own drugs.  And from there it is a short trip to running some meth lab in Bamburg, SC.  You have a college degree for goodness sakes.  Act like it.  

 

Couch Surfing:  There’s something romantic about being in your 20’s, going to a new town, not having an apartment, and letting the chips fall where the may.  It means you’re adventurous.  If you’re couch surfing after you turn 30, it means you’re homeless.  So if you want to be a burden to your friends I recommend you do it before you hit 30.  It’s easy to couch surf on a futon, it’s more difficult on an expensive sofa from Bloomingdale’s.

    

Camping Out For Tickets to Anything:  Once you hit 30, it is no longer acceptable to camp out for tickets to anything.  Concerts, movies, iphones, playstation 3’s, if buying the object requires you to sleep anywhere other then your house or at the minimum a Motel 6, you cannot buy it. 

 

 

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