About a week ago, I came up with the idea of blowing 12 hours of my life watching all seven Leprechaun films and writing about it throughout the course of the day. Aside from Warwick Davis (a.k.a. Wicket the Ewok from Return Of The Jedi and Willow Ufgood from Willow), the series is most famous for starring Jennifer Aniston as a snottier Rachel Green. Six more films followed: Leprechaun 2, Leprechaun 3, Leprechaun 4: In Space, Leprechaun In The Hood, Leprechaun Back 2 tha Hood, and Leprechaun: Origins. I figured it would be an example of the height of St. Patrick's Day-inspired movie criticism to try such an experiment on the same day as the Oscars. What ensued were eight pages of observations that didn't always revolve around the film occurring in front of me. In fact one page was entirely devoted to watching my cat play in his litter box while Leprechaun 2 was showing. I decided it best to highlight the one entry/film that I, bunny quotes, enjoyed most. The following occurred Sunday, March 4, at 2:32 p.m.
Leprechaun In The Hood
No disrespect to the hood but it seems like a step down to go from futuristic space stuff in Leprechaun 4 back to present day Earth but whatever. At the intro we learn about a killer golden flute the lep possesses and then the credits begin. Now, the past four films had that usual magically scary music during the credits but this time the credits are the usual scary-ish music with one striking addition of a James Brown "Funky Drummer" loop. Not to be a stickler but this movie came out in 2000. The "Funky Drummer" loop was pretty passe in 1994, even more so in 2000 since we were knee-deep in the bling era. Anal retentive observations aside this isn't promising but who am I to cast a Blarney Stone?
Cut to what I safely assume is the '70s as two gents in afros, bell bottoms, and platform shoes bust through a wall. One of them is none other than the legendary Ice-T.
For the love of Tracy Murrow I think this may be what led me to wanna do this little mindnumbathon to begin with. I've long been a fan of Ice-T's work since his albums caused controversy in the late '80s. It's still funny to me how the guy who penned "6 In the Mornin'" "Cop Killer," and "Girls L.B.G.N.A.F." is now someone my parents like. So, anyway, Ice's character, Mack Daddy, and his buddy, Slug, decide to steal a pot of golden stuff that sits next to a statue of a leprechaun wearing a gold medallion. Before long, Slug gets an afro pick to the throat from the formerly stoned leprechaun who tastefully exclaims, "Free at last free at last thank god almighty." Oh and Mack Daddy steals the flute and accidently re-statuefies the leprechaun.
Fast forward 20-ish years later and three unsuccessful aspiring rappers, led by Postmaster P, are positive message rappers with some vague positive messages. Meanwhile, Mack Daddy has become a successful asshole with a leprechaun statue, a pot of gold, and a golden flute that charms people. Soon the three stooges plot to steal the loot from him. Once they break in, shots are fired and quicker than you can say "Soul On Ice" (pointless Ice-T song reference), Mack Daddy is down. When one of the guys steals the gold medallion around the statue's neck, the lep comes back to life and lays down sick rhymes like, "Unhand me gold you thieving hoods, you got more loot than Tiger Woods."
By the way, the flute looks like a golden vape pen. When Post isn't declaring "it's a hip-hop thang," he's blowing on the golden vape pen to make their wishes come true. Suddenly, they're rocking the house for a wide spectrum of 10 to 15 people. You know you got skills when young, old, black, white straight, and gay are enjoying the raps you make, particularly that one about doing what you gotta do called "Do What You Gotta Do."
From there, death and a lot of bad hijinks ensue. At one point, a white guy in a chinchilla coat calls the main character "homeboy." Coolio makes a cameo as Coolio. The lep calls a joint he just smoked "the bomb" while boom bap infused g-funk plays underneath. I honestly think someone wrote this movie using a 1993 back issue of The Source.
Over the next 45 minutes more stuff happens but the producers saved the most jaw dropping part for last when the leprechaun performs his five mics worthy track, "Lep In The Hood," with his zombie fly girls over a barren beat while folding his arms a la any 1986 hip-hop artist. It's as god awful as it sounds and perfectly encapsulates the stultifying effects of this film and my little marathon experiment. I thought soberly watching these movies in one sitting would be fun. I was wrong. So very, very wrong.