What we have here is Conspiracy Theory 101, all Blair-Witched-up. The movie supposedly consists of a bunch of footage that’s been pieced together from the moon mission no one knows about and NASA denies ever happened, the titular Apollo 18. It’s not exactly clear how some subversive outfit got a hold of this footage, but then it’s not clear how NASA ever got their hands on all this supposedly 16mm footage that appears to have been shot with Super 8mm cameras. I mean, in light of the way this nonsense ends, they must have sent an Apollo 19 up later to look for it, and even that doesn’t make sense if you stop to think about the ending. Of course, if you’re smart you’ll never think about the ending, because you won’t see any of this. The idea is that two astronauts, Ben Anderson (Warren Christie) and Nate Walker (Lloyd Owen), go to the moon to gather some more rock samples (as if we didn’t have enough already). Ah, but this is a ruse by the Evil Government, and it all involves the Cold War, Russian Cosmonauts, and — spoiler alert —some inhospitable rocks that transform into some kind of spider things (are spiders the easiest thing to make with CGI?). And that’s about it, except that it goes on and on in increasing mind-numbing tedium. I turned my phone on twice to check the time in the hope that it must nearly be over. I was gravely discouraged on both occasions. The claim is that it’s only 88 minutes, but it seems much longer.
Director: Gonzalo López-Gallego
Writer: Brian Miller
Producer: Timur Bekmambetov, Michele Wolkoff and Cody Zwieg
Cast: Warren Christie, Lloyd Owen and Ryan Robbins