Best Grown-Up Hawaiian Punch

Happy Juice Express

Staff Pick

When Columbia DJ Brian Myers (a.k.a. DJ B-Lord) sent us a tall bottle of his bright-red concoction called Happy Juice Express last year, we opened it with a little trepidation. The stuff was neon and syrupy, and we hesitated before pouring ourselves a snifter during a lunch break. We had stuff to do; we didn’t have time to get schnockered at midday on a fruity malt beverage with 12-percent alcohol content. But journalistic duty called. We had to find out why, as B-Lord claimed, the drink had sold 10,500 cases in just 10 days after its initial release across the South Carolina market. Well, we can report that it’s ... certainly easy to get tipsy on. The taste is like stale Hawaiian Punch, and it coats the tongue and leaves you thirsty for more. “Saccharine” would be an understatement in this case. Anyway, it’s available at stores all over town now, so you can try it and judge for yourself. —Paul Bowers
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