Blotter o' the Week: An officer approached a man talking with his friend on a street corner to ask why the man's face was slathered in blood. Upon questioning, the man in the Carrie cosplay informed the officer that he was unaware that his face was bleeding. After additional questioning, the man, who appeared very intoxicated, revealed that his injuries could have occurred when he tripped and fell face-first on the street.
A man invited an acquaintance known only by his first name over to his apartment to collect $50. The two soon reached a disagreement and the "Man with One Name" grabbed an iron and struck the debtor in the face before fleeing.
Police returned to a loud party several hours after issuing the resident a warning. When asked why he had disregarded the initial citation, the resident responded, "I was going to get a ticket somewhere, so it might as well have been here."
A thief took advantage of an unlocked vehicle to make off with a Ziploc bag containing $2 in change. If he or she breaks into a few more cars, they can afford a cup of coffee.
A heavily intoxicated woman was met by police as she was led out of a bar. She asked if the bar's bouncer could go retrieve her friend from inside the establishment so that they could go home. When the bouncer turned his back, the woman seized the opportunity to rush into the bar for a few more seconds of fun, before her night was cut short.
An officer posted nearby a downtown bar managed to collect six fake IDs in one hour. Way to be persistent you crafty, underage drinkers.
A man returned to his vehicle to find that his tax forms and his mother's death certificate had been stolen.
Workers installing insulation under a house discovered what they believed to be human bones buried beneath the home. A photo of the remains was sent to the coroner's office, and it was determined that the bones were not human.
A shoplifter tried to race out of a store in a motorized cart. The low-speed chase ended just feet from the front of the store where the suspect was apprehended.
Three months after their breakup, a man found his ex-girlfriend smashing the windshield of his car and shouting "Oh, this is how it is, huh?"
A woman who suspected her fiance of having an affair went to his alleged lover's office to confront the other woman, ending in a bit of hair-pulling and punches.
A college student and his girlfriend were allegedly attacked in a bar by a classmate who had been sending him "unwanted and sometimes obscene text messages." According to an incident report, the student received a text from the other woman, reading, "I don't know what trash you brought to this state, but take her home and stop staring at me."
A man stated that his cellphone was a bomb before smashing it against the sidewalk. When speaking with police, the man said that he was upset after recently losing his job. To manage the stress, he had taken a pill that day, but wasn't sure exactly what he had consumed.
A driver with a suspended license told police that he was just cruising around so that his friend could play Pokemon Go. So apparently, someone is still playing that game.
An officer responding to reports of an unruly bar patron was met by an overly excited exhibitionist who shouted, "You want this!" while exposing himself.
A man attempted to steal a psychedelic blue and turquoise painting named "Miami Sunlight" from a motel bathroom. He was chased down in a nearby diner, and the painting was returned.