News+Opinion » Blotter

Blotter: Cactus Klepto

Swiping succulents

by

comment
STEVE STEGELIN
  • Steve Stegelin

The Blotter is taken from Charleston Police Department reports. We've added a cartoon and a little commentary. We've added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

Blotter o' the week: Following a similar pattern of reports lasting more than a year, someone is reportedly stealing plants from outside homes in Wagener Terrace. One little cactus recently reported stolen was seen listed for $40 on Facebook Marketplace.

When an SUV sped past a patrol car on King Street and the officer attempted a traffic stop around 1 a.m., the driver shut off his lights and made a sharp turn off the street and stopped. As the driver was rooting around in his glove compartment, he pulled out a pistol magazine, but told the officer that his gun was in Columbia. After the man was removed from the vehicle and arrested for DUI, officers found a cold beer in his cup holder and a partially empty 18-pack of Busch Light.

Five suspected MDMA pills found on a man were stamped with the symbols of Snapchat, Transformers, Superman, and Apple.

Cyclists reported a Jeep that was driving erratically on a busy two-lane road on James Island and collided with a box truck before driving away. Police found the Jeep, disabled and abandoned, nearby with the owner's belongings inside. When the owner was finally reached, she said she fell asleep and got into an accident on the way home and ditched the car because she knew she had a suspended license.

An (apparently) bored vandal defaced two cars in a West Ashley parking lot by writing a local phone number on one car trunk lid and the word "Fuck" above the gas cap of a truck parked nearby. "The inscribed phone number returned a busy tone," police say.

A "roll of one dollar coins" was reported stolen from a man's glove box after a hotel valet returned his car. But why, though?

In a completely predictable series of events downtown, a man told police that his car was left unlocked overnight and the pistol in his center console was stolen.

In a completely unpredictable series of events in West Ashley, a man told police he did not stop when police tried to pull him over because, "I wasn't fucking having my shit towed again." The man was booked for DUI, but police called a relative to come get the car. His shit was not towed!

A man wearing a white "fisher-man style shirt" stole two pairs of sunglasses with a total value of more than $1,400. The suspect's description matches another theft just a couple hours earlier.

In either a police misquote or an unusually articulate drunk bro, a man outside a King Street bar yelled, "Fuck you several times."

Add a comment