Blotter o' the Week: A girl slapped her grandma in the chin with a broken toilet seat because she didn't wanna get ready for school.
A man flipped the bird at a cop who told him to get out of the middle of the crosswalk, where he was having a full conversation with someone else as cars turned onto the street.
A man used a hammer to shatter the front glass door of a downtown art center and steal $50 from a donation jar.
A man walked out of a downtown convenience store with two microwaveable meals and a box of wine. When an employee followed him out and asked, "You got plans to pay for that?" The man replied, "Yeah, I got you," and drove off.
Two women resumed an ongoing feud over money at a Meeting Street bus stop, where a physical fight ensued after one tried to take the other's bottle of Henny.
This week in Victoria's Secret thefts: A woman walked in with a white duffel bag and stole five pairs of joggers, five pairs of leggings, six sweatshirts, 30 T-shirts, and five jackets. Total value: $2,917.45.
A family was awoken at around 3 a.m. when their neighbor's baby daddy threw a foot-long chunk of concrete through their window. It flew over one daughter's bed and landed on the other's.
Proof that no office is above (or below) our politically polarizing times: A man running for a county position had 22 yard signs stolen from an empty lot. Total value: $93.50.
A man was arrested after stealing a box of fried chicken and a 24-pack of Bud Light from a downtown grocery store. Another perfectly healthy night foiled by the law.
A Charleston man's hacking skills went right over the heads of Delta employees. The man "manipulated" the airline's website to give himself over 48 million SkyBonus points, costing the airline $17,811.50 in free flights.
A man threw a can of Pepsi at another man's stomach and asked, "Why the fuck are you talking to my girl?"
"...[redacted] said to [redacted] 'you won't slap me.' [Redacted] then slapped [redacted]."
A man yelling at pedestrians outside of an East Bay Street restaurant told an officer that he was sitting there because "he was looking for more women to be in his life."