BLOTTER O' THE WEEK: A woman tried to do $1,619.44 worth of last-minute shoplifting from a clothing store on Christmas Eve.
A man left his banged-up pickup truck unlocked with the keys inside while he worked at a fast food restaurant. At the end of his shift, he walked outside and it was gone. Turns out cosmetic damage is not the best anti-theft device; a lock is.
Doctors in a hospital pediatric ward called police about a juvenile who had a gash above his right eye and a broken jaw. When a cop tried to ask him what had happened, he refused to answer questions and shouted, "Fuck the police!"
Someone tried to spend $400 worth of counterfeit $20 bills on a TV set. They all had the same serial number.
Sorriest Excuse o' the Week: "I tried to shake her hand. I didn't mean to grab her."
At a traffic stop, an officer asked if he could search the vehicle. The driver replied, "Sure, nothing's in here." Apparently $90 in counterfeit bills and a digital scale with cocaine residue were "nothing."
Police aren't sure what shattered the front driver's-side window on a car that was parked in front of a downtown home, but they do know the neighbor's kids all got BB guns for Christmas.
Small-Time Action Movie Heist o' the Week: Someone broke into a family's lockbox and left behind a stethoscope that the family had not seen before.
A man got arrested for driving 81 mph in a 45 mph zone ... without a license.
A woman reached into her pocket and hurriedly threw what looked like crack cocaine into her mouth when she noticed a police officer approaching her, and she swallowed it during the conversation that followed. Her story? It was popcorn.
The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We've added a cartoon and a little commentary. We've added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.