- Steve Stegelin
Blotter o' the week: A parent threatened to fight her son's elementary school teacher after a conversation about her son's behavior. "I will knock those glasses off your face," the parent said. "Meet me after school and I will fuck you up."
A woman was arrested after trying to steal three cans of cat food and a box of allergy medicine from a West Ashley grocery store.
A cabbie flagged down an officer and asked him to remove a drunk passenger who had hit him. The woman then backhanded the officer's crotch.
Alerted by his motion-activated surveillance camera, a man went outside to find someone in his backyard. "I had to piss," claimed the shadowy figure before hopping on a white bike and pedaling away after stealing a box cutter from the man's unlocked car.
A man told officers he'd had "five beers and a shot." When officers asked him to take a field sobriety test, he said, "I think I'll probably fail because you're going to scrutinize me so..."
A Johns Island high schooler was cited with simple possession of marijuana after toking up in the boys bathroom. He was sent home early as part of his "administrative consequences."
A man confidently told officers that he went under the I-26 overpass to drink his beer.
(Reporter's note: Is the theft of a Michael Kors watch really worth reporting?)
A woman grabbed a shower rod from her car for self-defense during an altercation outside of a downtown apartment building.
A woman at a downtown restaurant told staff to call the cops because she was not going to pay her bar tab. She paid before an officer showed up, but was arrested for public intoxication when he noticed just how drunk she was.
A homeless Uber driver, known to dance in Marion Square and Hampton Park from time to time, left her cell phone at a friend's house and hasn't been seen for a few days. Her mom told cops that her daughter hasn't been the same after she experimented with hallucinogens during a trip to Ecuador last winter.
A crack dealer assaulted a man sitting at a downtown bus stop after he told the seller he was "good on crack today."