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Blotter: Still going... nowhere

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Blotter o' the Week: As he peed onto the side of a building, a man shouted, "I'm still going," to his friends who were waiting for him — and to the officer standing behind him.

A drunk and "disruptive" man called the cops on two guys drinking at a Spring Street bar, claiming they were underage. When the cops showed up and saw that the two men in question had in fact shown proper identification, the caller was arrested for disorderly conduct.

The owner of a construction company working on a property on Huger Street walked out of a restaurant across the street to find that someone had spray-painted, "Come bathe in our twisted desire," on a sign. Is erotic graffiti technically mass sexual harassment? Find out next week.

A man pretended to purchase a 24-pack of beer and a tin of chewing tobacco at a West Ashley store before walking away while his card was processing. By the time it was declined, he was halfway to fleeing southbound on Ashley River Road.

A nine millimeter gun, an expandable baton, and a pair of handcuffs were stolen from a car parked at an apartment complex on James Island, so that should make you feel safe.

Someone drove off with a truck with a nine millimeter handgun inside of it after the construction worker performing renovations outside of a house on the Battery left it unsupervised, parked, and with the keys in the ignition for five minutes.

After being turned down for a job due to his problematic Instagram presence, a man proved the business right by threatening a cyber-attack and calling the manager a "fat fuck" in an e-mail.

A man was caught on surveillance video stealing nine cartons of Newports and two bags of shrimp from a downtown grocery store. Excuse us while we collectively throw up.

Two women walked out of a designer retailer on King Street with two handbags worth more than $8,000. Truly iconic.

A downtown bartender had her purse stolen near the bar. When one of her coworkers went home later that night, she saw the purse in her house (minus $200) and speculated that her roommate might have stolen it. Time to hit up those Craigslist apartment listings.

A young blonde woman with pink highlights stole close to $60 worth of stuff from H&M, though her description matches that of someone more likely to steal from a Claire's.

A man tried to steal a $3 energy drink from a King Street store in an effort to get himself arrested. When an officer said that he could only put him on trespass, the man walked right back into the store as the officer left, prompting the long-awaited arrest he sought after all. Dreams come true, folks.

Apparently a security guard at Roper Hospital regularly checks a first floor bathroom for possible sleeping vagrants.

A man swept "multiple bottles" of Dove body wash from the shelf into his backpack at a downtown drug store.

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