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Blotter: That's one jerk of a clerk

Pony-Hair Boots

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Blotter o' the Week: A man became belligerent and stormed off after being fired from his job at a grocery store. He later returned to the store to mount a produce protest, destroying almost $200 worth of blueberries, onions, kiwis, and pineapples. He sounds like one bad apple.

While cleaning her living room, one woman found a handgun hidden under her couch. The woman told police that she believed her 15-year-old grandson had hidden it there, and she turned the weapon over to the police.

Officers spotted a heavily intoxicated man stumbling down a sidewalk one evening. When confronted by police, the man would not answer any questions and tried to convince the officers that his name was "Pedophile."

One woman was tracked down on her moped after skipping out on her bill at a downtown restaurant. When police caught up with her, the woman appeared injured and told the officer that she had just fallen off of her moped during her daring getaway.

Officers responding to a noise complaint seized several bottles of whipped cream-flavored vodka after realizing that the rowdy revelers were underage.

During a routine traffic stop, a driver initially told the officer that she did not have her driver's license with her. The officer noticed that the woman appeared shaky, and he asked to search her purse and vehicle. According to an incident report, the officer found a small bag of pills, which the woman said she sells for $20 a piece, and five licenses, none of which belonged to the suspect.

Officers spotted an intoxicated man walking away from a downtown bar late one night and realized that he was bleeding from his right hand. The man told police that he had punched through the back window of a parked car because he "can't do anything right." To prove his point, the man then began uncontrollably kicking and screaming.

Proving that it's not the size of the dog in the fight, a man called police after he was bitten on the calf by an eight-month-old Chihuahua. Unsurprisingly, he survived the attack.

A pair of "pony-hair" boots and two military-style flight suits were stolen from a pawn shop because fashion is important, even at 30,000 feet.

Police responded to a call of a man checking into a hospital for a reported gun shot wound. The man told police that he had been shot a week ago while on a trip to New York City, but he waited to get back home to see a doctor.

A cab driver flagged down police to report a customer who was unable to pay his fare after four hours of riding all over town. When questioned by the officer, the customer said, "Listen, I'm going to be straight with you. Him and I have been driving around all morning buying and smoking drugs," according to an incident report. When asked if he was still in possession of any drugs, the customer told the officer they had "smoked all of their crack already." The officer later discovered a glass pipe in the man's shoe. The driver chose not to press charges.

Police came across an intoxicated man passed out on a sidewalk downtown. Once they were able to rouse the sleeping suspect, one of the officers asked the man if he knew his current location. The other officer could not hear the man's answer, but he did hear his partner reply, "No, you're not in Columbia."

A man was pulled over after he was spotted driving the wrong way down a one-way street. He told the officer that he was not paying attention because he was on the phone arguing with his girlfriend. It also didn't help that he had consumed a few beers before driving.

A woman was hitchhiking when a man drove up and offered her a ride. She told officers that she accidentally left her wallet in the man's vehicle and soon found almost $2,000 had been charged to her account.

A woman says she moved out of her apartment due to "personal reasons related to her then boyfriend." When she returned to collect her belongings, the woman found that all of her items had been removed. In addition, the hot-water heater, washing machine, and dryer we also missing. According to an incident report, the woman told officers that she had encountered several people who know the location of her belongings — one instance being when she saw someone wearing a pair of her jeans during a visit to her friend's house to smoke crack.

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