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Blotter: The week in crime

Highlights from the City of Charleston police reports

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BLOTTER O' THE WEEK: During an argument with his girlfriend, a man says she hit him in the forehead with a TV remote before chasing him off with a golf club. Well, it was the same weekend that Tiger was playing in the Masters.

Threat O' The Week: "If you move, my trigger finger is itching, and I'll shoot the shit out of you."

Officers arrived at the scene of a disturbance to find the suspect was an irate pizza place customer upset that the oven broke. He was pulling his shirt off in the street and shouting profanities. We thought season two of Jersey Shore was filming in Miami.

How many licks does it take to subdue a threatening, unarmed suspect stumbling around in the middle of the street? Apparently two shots from a Taser, a douse of pepper spray, and a baton to the kneecaps.

Asked if he had anything illegal on him, a suspect told officers, "Yeah, but I already ate it."

Items in a recent home theft included a Thomas the Tank Engine set, a Bronco Buster statue, and a BMX bike. No word yet on an alibi for Dennis the Menace.

Stolen Items O' The Week: Three bikes, three iPods, two GPS units, a laptop, and a trombone

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We've added a cartoon and a little commentary. We've added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

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