BLOTTER O' THE WEEK: A drunk man showed up at his estranged wife's home, allegedly punching a bird feeder, kicking walkway lights, and head-butting a lamp post. This is why Jerry Springer never went on location.
Stopped while heading the wrong way down a one-way street, a woman was asked during the roadside sobriety test to recite the alphabet from C to R. Officers noted she had to "mouth the letters A and B in order to begin the test properly."
Threat O' the Week: "If you take two more steps, I'm going to beat your ass, and you know I can because I am a cage fighter ... If you don't want to fight here, I will kick your ass at Walmart and wax you over."
A woman claims someone stole her bike after a city employee removed the parking meter it was chained to.
Caught allegedly stuffing two pairs of boxers down his pants at a department store, a 19-year-old claimed he was 16 and blamed it on "peer pressure."
Items Stolen This Week: Two bikes and a GPS unit
Stolen Item O' The Week: A weather vane
Ironic Theft O' the Week: A woman reported that her credit card had been used to purchase anti-virus software online.
A woman claimed she was threatened after calling police about a truck blocking her driveway. Another woman allegedly yelled from across the street, "Wait until the police leave ... if you did this kind of thing in New York, you would be killed for it." And if you made those kinds of threats in New Jersey, you'd have a show on MTV.
The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We've added a cartoon and a little commentary. We've added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.