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Blotter: the Golden Arches standard

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The Blotter is taken from Charleston Police Department reports. We've added a cartoon and a little commentary. We've added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

STEVE STEGELIN
  • Steve Stegelin

Blotter o' the week: A man threw his meal on the ground and called an employee the n-word after complaining about the lack of table "service" at a local McDonald's, according to the manager.

An officer found a man standing atop the stairs of Charleston City Hall completely naked with his arms spread. The man started playing with his penis when he was asked what was going on. He later said he was schizophrenic and off his medication.

A woman called the cops after hearing three gunshots outside her house. By the time an officer got there, she had accidentally kicked one of the shell casings down the drain.

Someone found a cell phone that had been recording in the men's locker room of a local high school.

A crack user texted the following to the mother of his children: "The only thing U need is a motherfucking bullet in between your eyes. Fucking Cunt."

A King Street menswear retailer had six polo shirts stolen in two days. Total loss: $597.

A man in a cowboy hat was spotted stumbling down a James Island street with a bottle of Jack in his hand.

A man stole seven boxes of cereal, two cantaloupes, and a bag of grapes from a West Ashley grocery store.

A man in a fedora stole six packs of Newports from a downtown convenience store.

Someone spray-painted a dick and balls on the front glass doors of a West Ashley public library, along with the words "Suck It" on a nearby brick wall.

A man who protested the Calhoun monument on Marion Square told an officer that a woman called his part-time job at a downtown restaurant and tried to get him fired for his views on the statue.

A drunk woman trying to exit a downtown garage handed an officer a clothing tag and told him it was her parking ticket.

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