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Craigslist Poetry: In a Holidaze

Love letter to an Applebee’s diner with a lazy eye



If ever there were a time to troll the Craigslist Missed Connections board for moments of poetry, it would around the holidays. Right?

We thought we'd find a wealth of lonely confessions from office Christmas parties, but so far, there have been surprisingly few missives of yuletide yearning this December. Oh well. We found a few gems anyway.

The following are actual entries from the Missed Connections section of Charleston Craigslist, divided into lines and stanzas and presented without embellishment:

We met at my party - m4w (north charleston)
We were sitting at the table at dinner at the Christmas party,
you wanted to play beer pong and I did to.
We got back to my house after the party
and starting talking basketball and sports.
i have never felt such a connection with someone
in just that short of time that we spent together.

I have not stopped thinking about you since that night.
This may be stupid
and this may sound dumb
but i have to at least tell you
I think you are my soul mate

Heavy set lady with lazy eye at applebee's - m4w (Charleston)
So as I ate lunch today I saw you.
You were in the booth 2 down from me
and eating a plate of nachos
covered in cheese and sour cream.

I was so turned on by your heavy breathing
since you were eating so fast, more like a snarl.
That or just the lack of shape that you are in
may of been causing it. Either or you're gorgeous.

I would like to say we made eye contact
but your right eye is horribly lazy.
That thing kept wandering over
at either myself or it may of been my food
as if you need any more.

As you panted and snarled down those nachos
all I kept thinking was what your name was,
I believe the waitress addressed you as "sea bisket" when you paid.

your song - m4w
Loveing and tuching laughfing and spueezing
jokend pokeing and smileing and teasing.
loveing and kissing and steeling is low
i ll owe u a lifetime ill love u for ever
i would make u my wife and ill never forget u.

U give a smile on the face of my chiled
i will give u my love i will give u my life
loveing and tuching and loveing and love

you walking at Towne Center - m4w - 67 (Mt. Pleasant Towne Centre)
You - tall mature woman --
white leggings or tights --
short top
alluring yet protecting your modesty.

I think you may work at the Town Center
in fashion of some kind?
You are beautiful and wonderful.

If you are open to meeting
a mature man for afternoon coffee or tea,
my treat.

toxic - m4w
I just want to say to everyone who reads this
that your are going about fibding love alk wrong
and even if you not looking for love
and just dont want to be lonly
you still going about it in the wrong way

i feel i can say that because i was doing it to
and tealky the path you are choseing is toxic
for your head in your heart
i just came to to this gor my self last night
when i found my self answering e mails
from sevral diffrent wemon at the sametime

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