They should have just called it Jonah Hexed and been done with it. This misbegotten movie seems like a compendium of bad ideas and worse execution. The truth is that it’s not so much bad as it’s just completely negligible, and it didn’t need to be. The basic premise is sound enough. A vengeance-seeking Confederate soldier, Jonah Hex (Josh Brolin) turned bounty hunter is a good basis for an anti-hero. His disfigurement at the hands of his obviously unhinged and terminally mean nemesis, Turnbull (John Malkovich), adds to the dark tone, as does the gilding-the-lily touch of having Hex further disfigure himself rather than live with Turnbull’s brand. The supernatural element is a little more troublesome since Hex’s ability to palaver with dead folks is not exactly convincingly established. Yes, the effects, especially the CGI crows, are less than overwhelming, but the supernatural segments are the closest thing to style the film has to offer. They’re also the primary thing that captures any sense of a comic book. The problem is that there’s no plot. Supposedly dead Turnbull isn’t and President Grant (Aidan Quinn) brings in Hex to stop the deranged man from destroying the U.S. with a super weapon. Apart from some painful romantic guff between Hex and hooker girlfriend Lily (the ever-grating Megan Fox), that’s the story. Whatever possibilities it might have had are killed off by flat direction.
Director: Jimmy Hayward
Writer: John Albano, Tony Dezuniga, Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor
Producer: Akiva Goldsman and Andrew Lazar
Cast: Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox, Will Arnett, Michael Fassbender, Seth Gabel, Julia Jones, Aidan Quinn, Thomas Lennon and Michael Shannon