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Millenials, band moms, and more in this month's Tales from the Door Side

Do You Even Venmo?

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Concertgoers live in a world they believe to be loud and free. But there is, unheard by most, an outer world, a barrier between in and out, just as loud but not as free as they thought — the world outside a venue, where the door guy simply wants you to pay the cover charge. Welcome to a few nights in the life of Tin Roof's door dude, Rex Stickel.

Saturday

8:34 p.m.

Me: "Hey guys, we're taking $7 for the bands tonight."
Band mom: "What if we're the parents of one of the bands and they're always mooching off us?"
Me: "Then right after the show I'd go up and ask for my cut of the door."

9:15 p.m.

Some kid just asked me if I know how a Juul knows it's getting sucked on and I said, "I don't know but if it was me getting sucked on, I'd probably light up too."

10:52 p.m.

"CAN I VENMO YOU?" — every millennial ever, in unison, in regards to paying the cover.

Thursday

8:38 p.m.

The irony of this older guy asking me if our Willy Wonka painting is spray paint (it is), as he's spraying spit at me at the same time.

Wednesday

11:10 p.m.

Me: "Hey guys, I need everyone's IDs, and it's $5 to get in."
Some Girl: "FOR GIRLS?!"

11:26 p.m.

Me: "The cover tonight is $7."
Guy: "How many bands are left?"
Me: "After this one, the headliner is left."
Guy: "OK, but this is one expensive ass piss."
I didn't say anything funny to him, but if I gotta hear this shit, you do too.

Friday

8:14 p.m.

A 19-year-old just asked if pressing "withdrawal" on the ATM is the one that gets money out.

8:56 p.m.

Me: "Hey guys, we have a $7 cover tonight."
Guy: "That's such an odd number for a cover.
Me: "Well it's more than 5 and less than 10 so it's not as scary."

9:28 p.m.

Me: "Hey gang, it's a $7 cover tonight."
Four drunk people all start in at once.
"For West Ashley people?!"
"How about two for $2?"
"Well we don't want to pay."
Me: "How short on the cover are you?"
Lady: "I'm short, I'm like 5'4"."
Face palm.
Me: "Just give me a 20."

11:40 p.m.

Small group walks up.

Me: "Hey guys, we still have one band playing but I can drop the cover to $5 — we're trying to help the touring bands out."
The four adults circle together, debating the pros and cons. "No thanks."

Monday

9:38 p.m.

So if you claim to be a doorman, and then you try to bring in two very young looking girls to a bar with no IDs saying you can vouch for their ages, don't get pissed when the doorman denies you entry. Your kung fu is weak.

10:55 p.m.

Sound Guy: "Hey do you know how this folding table works? The band decided they don't need it and now I can't fold it back up."
Me: "You just push the..."
Sound Guy: "Yeah I know I pushed 'em."
Me: "Pull on that..."
Sound Guy: "No that's what unlocks it, so — it literally makes no sense why it isn't folding now."
Me: "Well congratulations. You broke it and it's still a table."

Wednesday

9:27 p.m.

Me: "Hey gang, the cover tonight is $8 and I need your IDs."
Kid: "Is it 21 and up? I'm only 19."
Me: "Oh ... sorry man, it is 21 and up."
Kid: "Is there anything we can do?"
Me: "Umm..."
Kid: "What if my friend here were 21, would that help?"
Me: "That would certainly improve his situation."

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