Hitting the screen by way of a team of scriptwriters that includes the original stage production’s Chris D’Arienzo, Rock of Ages presents a fairy-tale version of Los Angeles’ heavy metal scene circa 1987. Sherrie (Julianne Hough) is an Oklahoma girl ready to strike out on her own as a singer, while Drew (Diego Bonetta) also dreams of the stage while keeping the bar stocked at the Bourbon Room, a legendary venue on the Sunset Strip. After she’s robbed shortly upon arriving in L.A., Drew introduces Sherrie to club owner Dennis Dupree (Alec Baldwin), who hires her on as a waitress. Dennis has problems of his own, however. The frontrunner for mayor of Los Angeles, Mike Whitmore (Bryan Cranston), is pledging to clean up the city, and closing down the Bourbon Room is the first thing on his list. Dennis turns to his old friend, the legendary rock star Stacee Jaxx (Tom Cruise), for help, asking him to perform at the club so Dennis can use the receipts to pay back taxes and stay afloat. It would be easy to say that the film’s many plot contrivances can be found in any number of musicals, but the fact is the filmmakers and actors were given a lazy script to work with. The two young leads are basically ciphers, taking up valuable running time that could have been better used by giving the supporting cast larger roles, like Catherine Zeta-Jones, who is the real treasure here as Mrs. Whitmore, seemingly on a crusade to end heavy metal (and destroy Jaxx in particular). Rock of Ages is exactly what you think it is. There are no surprises to be found or enjoyed here.