Having been subjected to the seemingly interminable abomination that is Something Borrowed, I decided to check Kate Hudson’s filmography to confirm a suspicion. And I was right: The last time she was in a really good movie was in 2000 in Almost Famous. That’s a long time to tread water. Either Hudson is remarkably tenacious, or she simply hates us and makes these movies to punish us. I’m inclined toward the latter after Something Borrowed. Here’s the pitch: Rachel (Ginnifer Goodwin) has been best friends with Darcy (Kate Hudson) since third grade. Rachel has also been in love with Dex (Colin Egglesfield) since they were in law school together, even though she let Darcy take him away from her. So here we are years later and Darcy and Dex are getting married, but as luck and the script would have it, Rachel and Dex, slightly drunk, end up in bed together. Worse, this indiscretion (I guess it’s supposed to be shocking) clues them in on the fact that they’re really gaga about each other. Now, that could be easily, if messily, remedied in real life, but not here. Rachel can’t hurt Darcy, you see, and it will upset Dex’s wealthy parents if he doesn’t marry Darcy. What this means is we’re subjected to at least 90 more minutes of flashbacks, flat gags, contrivances, and some of the most utterly unlikable characters you’ve ever met. The sole exception is Kate Hudson’s Darcy, who is completely detestable. I not only didn’t care what happened to any of them, I was wishing I’d never set eyes on them. Quentin Crisp once said that even the worst movie is at least better than real life. He never saw this.
Director: Luke Greenfield
Writer: Jennie Urman and Jordan Roberts
Producer: Broderick Johnson, Andrew A. Kosove, Molly Smith, Hilary Swank and Pamela Schein Murphy
Cast: Kate Hudson, Ginnfer Goodwin, John Krasinski, Colin Egglesfield, Steve Howey, Ashley Williams, Sarah Baldwin, Grace Capra, Shirley Dluginski and Jill Eikenberry