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Stable Geniuses

Band of Horses go to the barn because they like the barn. Duh.

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Writer: Kelly Rae Smith only writes about horses when there's no local dolphin drama.

(Psst. This is satire as part of our 2018 SEWE issue.)

Charleston's own Band of Horses are a busy bunch but the City & Paper got a chance to saddle up with the guys for a spur of the moment chinwag recently. Here's what we discovered about beloved indie stallions, Ben "Seabiscuit" Bridwell, Creighton "I'll Have Another" Barrett, Ryan "Majestic Prince" Monroe, and Matt "Go for Gin" Gentling.

KRS: Good afternoon, guys. It's such an honor to meet up and speak with you today. Thanks for having me out here to your headquarters — fine piece o' land you got here. Oh, and pardon but I'm a little hoarse today.

Horse: Ah, neigh problem. I'm a little horse, too.

KRS: So you are, so you are. So you guys first really blew up a little over 10 years ago. It was around that time in 2007, that we began to see more and more indie dudes not only donning increasingly more flannel, but they also all suddenly had significantly more facial hair. It's no secret that you're a team of pretty fuzzy guys. Do you take credit, even just a little, for starting the bearded hipster trend, or are you content to stay off of that high horse?

Horse: You're right, the onset of beards was a little biblical. But I'm not gonna steal all the thunder from Fleet Foxes, who, around the same time, appeared with plenty o' whiskers themselves.

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  • Around the Yard: Be it pluff mud or bird guts, if it’s stinky, Mona and Don will find it — and roll around in it

KRS: Fair enough. I know that initially the band formed in Washington state, but you eventually came back to your South Carolina stompin' grounds. What's your favorite thing about being back in Charleston?

Horse: We're diggin' the Southern sun on our backs the most. There's nothin' like a lazy day of sunbathing on your own land and sippin' on a few gallons of H20 and Colt 45. That Pacific Northwest weather can be a bunch of, well, horseshit, to be honest.

KRS: I dig. Your first single "The Funeral" really took off. What was that sudden success like for dudes jockeying for attention amongst a field of Seattle talent?

Horse: Yeah, well damn, it happened quicker than you can say "Oh, hay," but we can't complain. One day you're just a critter pawin' for a chance and the next you're a prize pony hoofin' it to festivals the world over. This other side is truly a horse of a different color.

KRS: I can imagine. So touring life must be hard, especially for those of you with ponies of your own now. How do you cope with life on the road? I bet the schedule can be a bit much.

Horse: Well we can sleep standing up, while walking, while tied up, at night, and during the day. So we just freakin' snooze whenever we dang well please.

KRS: Good deal. How about your eating habits? Is there a special diet you try to keep up with on tour?

Horse: We eat everything all the time, although we do make an effort to rein it in. But most of the time we get roped into the unhealthy traps of the touring life.

KRS: I have one more question that I know your herd of fans want the answer to. You like to go to the barn because you like the ... what?

Horse: Well, goddman, we like to go to the barn because we like the barn. Duh.

KRS: Duh indeed. Well it's getting late and I know y'all probably wanna hit the hay before the mane event tomorrow. Thanks again for your time and sorry for all the terrible horse puns. I was mare-ly joking.

Horse: Neigh worries. Hey, no harm, no foal, right?

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