If it had been possible, each copy of this year's Summer Guide would have come with its own narrator, one who would read each and every carefully typeset line with restrained wit and good cheer while classic French pop played ever so quietly behind him. It also would have been made from upcycled goods and decorated like a diorama designed by Wes Anderson, the auteur behind The Grand Budapest Hotel and Rushmore. Sadly, that was not to be. Instead, we have attempted — to the best of our limited abilities, mind you — to craft the most twee issue of the City Paper that has ever been created. Enjoy it at your leisure, preferably while eating the most exquisitely composed pastry and sipping coffee from an ornate cup made from the most delicate china known to man.