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"My buddy Dave," Conway Twitty, and strip club bills, oh my

How About the Ghost?

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Concertgoers live in a world they believe to be loud and free. But there is, unheard by most, an outer world, a barrier between in and out, just as loud but not as free as they thought — the world outside a venue, where the door guy simply wants you to pay the cover charge. Welcome to a few nights in the life of Tin Roof's door dude, Rex Stickel.

Monday

8:41 p.m.

Every member of some band just walked up together asking how to book a show. "How cute! But just wait until you're all no longer speaking to each other and the lawsuits start," I thought to myself, as I referred them to our website.

9:16 p.m.

Me: "So it's $8 to get in."

Guy hands me $30 for three.

Me: "OK, so ..."

Girl: "For three of us, it's $24."

Me: "Cool! So ..."

Girl: "We get $6 back."

Me: "Listen, I've had a long day, and I refuse to do math. Thank you."

Wednesday

9:33 p.m.

I get worried when after a band checks their individual instruments and the sound guy goes, "OK, everybody," and they don't play a song together.

10:31 p.m.

According to 100 percent of the population so far, 100 percent of one dollar bills have been through a strip club.

Thursday

9:39 p.m.

Me: "The cover is $5."

Guy: "Is there a discount since I walked here?"

Me: "Yeah, it's called the Walking Discount."

Guy: "Really?"

Me: "No, it's $5."

Monday

9:30 p.m.

Guy: "You need to see my ID?"

Me: "Yessir, and there's a $7 cover for the show tonight."

Guy: "Cover? I didn't know there's a cover. I'm here to see my buddy Dave — he plays drums."

Me: "He's in the band? Well the cover is to pay the bands."

Guy: "Oh. And it doesn't come with a beer or anything?"

10:31 p.m.

Guy: "Hey, we're best friends with the band tonight. Is that cool with you?"

Me: "Uh ... huh?"

Guy: "We're best friends with the band. Is that cool with you?"

Me: "I think you're forgetting the part where you ask to get in for free."

Thursday

9:25 p.m.

Me: "We've got a $5 cover for the bands."

Guy: "Who are the bands?"

Me: "First it's the touring band, and then the local headliner, Ripley and the Ghost."

Guy: "When are they starting?"

Me: "Any minute now, really."

Guy: "And how about the ghost? You said there was a ghost performing."

Me: "Uhh, yeah, any minute now ..."

Friday

8:44 p.m.

Me: "Hey man, the cover is $10."

Guy: "I'm actually in the band about to play."

Me: "That's cool man, come on in."

Guy: "That's right, I'm cool, I'm in the band."

Me: "I didn't say all THAT."

Saturday

8:10 p.m.

Me: "Hey guys if you're here for the show, it's $5."

Older Guy: "Conway Twitty! Conway Twitty! I came here to see Conway Twitty! Is he coming out? Conway Twitty!"

Me: "Conway Twitty? I'm sorry sir, I don't speak French."

Guy: "Conway Twitty?"

9:43 p.m.

Guy: "Are there any stamps? Once we pay, can we, like, leave?"

Me: "Naw dude, it's like Hotel California. You can check out, but you can never leave."

Guy: *blank stare*

Me: Realizing the guy born in 1995 probably doesn't know who the Eagles are: "I'm kidding — you can leave."


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