The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure

Rated G 88 min. 2012

The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure (G) My wife and I were the audience at the first showing of The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adveture on Friday. This had the distinct downside of making it impossible to accurately judge whether or not the tiny tot target audience really would get up and dance, talk to the screen, and sing on cue as intended by the creators of this curious cash grab. (Note to the producers: Two-year-olds are not as a rule toddling about with seven bucks burning a hole in their diapers to buy a ticket.) I am hesitant to attempt to describe this peculiar concoction for fear of being accused of base mendacity. However, here goes. Goobie, Zoozie, and Toofie are the Oogieloves. They are respectively green, yellow, and purple. Goobie and Toofie appear to be male. Zoozie seems to be female. They live together in a menage a trois in the town of Lovelyville where they have a kind of upright vacuum cleaner butler named J. Edgar (Nick Drago). J. Edgar seems to have an illicit affair going on with Windy Window (Maya Stange), whose drapes he keeps fondling. (This is perhaps because Windy is constantly changing her drapes, proving herself to be a Hoover-tease.) J. Edgar loses the five golden balloons meant for the Oogies' birthday bash for an apparently narcoleptic pink throw-pillow named Schluufy (Taras Los), so a search is soon underway. The bulk of the film consists of embarrassing a group of C list celebrities whose best days are behind them. Cary Elwes probably comes of worse than the rest. His Bobby Wobbly (wouldn't that better suit the lead in a commercial for an erectile dysfunction product?) staggers around and has a moronic fixed grin on his face that looks like cosmetic surgery gone horribly, horribly wrong. No, Mr. Elwes, being in the Saw movies wasn't rock bottom after all. At least the film has earned the distinction of being the biggest flop in the history of movies. —Ken Hanke

Film Credits

Official Site: www.oogieloves.com

Director: Matthew Diamond

Writer: Scott Stabile and Kenn Viselman

Producer: Kenn Viselman, Gayle Dickie, Michael A. Chirco, Scot J. Moceri and David Schwarcz

Cast: Jaime Pressly, Cloris Leachman, Chazz Palminteri, Toni Braxton, Cary Elwes, Guistina Chirco, Malerie Grady, Kylie O'Brien, Taras Los and Sonya A. Avakian

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The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure

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