One of The Eye's favorite things about life on this big blue marble is how fate seems to intervene, usually with impeccable timing, into the lives of those individuals who've become a little too big for their britches.
Or in this case, not big enough.
Last Monday, right-wing conservative radio commentator Rush Limbaugh was detained for a little over three hours at the Palm Beach International Airport after customs officials found a prescribed drug in his luggage that did not have his name on it.
The drug in question?
Oh dear, thought The Eye.
Under Florida law prescription drugs, including the erectile dysfunction remedy Viagra, must have the name of the person bearing them on the label.
Palm Beach Sheriff's Sgt. Pete Palenzuela told reporters that Limbaugh was stopped after arriving from a trip to the Dominican Republic and was found to be in possession of a bottle of 29 blue tablets.
"The prescription label had two doctors' names on it and did not have Mr. Limbaugh's name on it. Mr. Limbaugh said the Viagra was his and was for his personal use."
Limbaugh was detained, but not arrested or charged, and the Palm Beach Sheriff's Office forwarded the incident reports on to the local state attorney's office for further investigation.
Limbaugh's attorney Roy Black issued a statement that said, "Rush Limbaugh was detained by customs agents after they noticed a non-narcotic prescription drug, which had been prescribed by Mr. Limbaugh's treating physician but labeled as being issued to the physician rather than Mr. Limbaugh for privacy purposes."
Well, observed The Eye, that plan certainly worked like a charm.
Just last month, Limbaugh agreed to a deal with the Florida state attorney in which a charge of "doctor shopping" will be dropped if Limbaugh stays out of trouble for 18 months. It is alleged that Limbaugh illegally deceived multiple doctors to obtain overlapping pain medication prescriptions.
Limbaugh has denied the allegations, but has admitted an addiction to painkillers.
As long as Limbaugh's statements are found to be true, it is likely the Viagra incident will disappear into a Sunshine State sunset.
But there's more than a few things here that need to be examined. First off, along with the pimple on his ass that Limbaugh used to avoid service in Vietnam, The Eye and the rest of America now know more than need be about his nether regions.
Secondly, the bloated bloviator was returning from a trip to the Dominican Republic with a bottle of Viagra.
For those out of the loop, the DR is home to a vigorously thriving sex trade industry. Christian Aid cites a survey estimating 50,000 sex trade workers.
Why was an unmarried, moralistic radio commentator visiting a country that the U.S. government says has rampant prostitution — including children — and is one of the worst offenders in the trafficking of women and children for sex trade bondage with a bottle of extra gas for the tank?
Limbaugh joked about the incident on his Tuesday broadcast, saying he picked up the Viagra at the Clinton Library after being told they were blue M&Ms, "I had a great time in the Dominican Republic. Wish I could tell you about it."
Hey Fat Boy, Bill Clinton has been out of office for a long time and The Eye doesn't recall hearing about him having any trouble "under the hood," as it were.
The Eye guesses that "Flying while Rush" is the new "Driving while Black."
It couldn't happen to a nicer guy.