The Watch

The Watch (R) It is altogether astonishing that a movie as full of dick jokes as The Watch could be as utterly flaccid as it is? Now, it's true that R-rated comedies fare poorly on Friday mornings, which is when I saw the movie, but this crowd was thin even by that standard. Moreover, I heard one laugh during the entire running time and witnessed three walk-outs. That's not a good sign. It is, however, entirely in keeping with this dismal mess being palmed off as a movie. This is a tedious affair about Evan (Ben Stiller), a Costco manager, putting together a neighborhood watch in order to discover who killed (and skinned) his night watchman. OK, so that's a lot less like a neighborhood watch than it is a lesser Bowery Boys scenario, only here staffed by the hormonal Hardy Boys from Hell. All Evan gets is Bob (Vince Vaughn), Franklin (Jonah Hill), and Jamarcus (Brit TV comic Richard Ayoade). Bob is looking for an overgrown boys club. Franklin wants to play the cop he planned on being before he failed his test and was deemed mentally unbalanced. Jamarcus is hoping to fulfill a sexual fantasy involving a lonely Asian woman. After a good deal of pointless meandering and unfunny "man talk," the film finally gets around to its central neighborhood watch vs. space aliens premise. This at least gives the proceedings a trajectory, but it doesn't make it any funnier. —Ken Hanke



  • Akiva Schaffer


  • Ben Stiller
  • Vince Vaughn
  • Jonah Hill
  • Richard Ayoade
  • Rosemarie DeWitt


  • Jared Stern
  • Seth Rogen
  • Evan Goldberg
  • Justin Theroux


  • Shawn Levy
  • Michael Ewing

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