Slow locals made me crap my pants

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I hate the half-speed metronome embedded in all the locals.  Yes, I'm from off, in the modern world, where the human metronome is tick-tock-tick-tock, not tick [short pause] tock [short pause] tick [short pause] tock.  I'm sure the slower metronome made perfect sense in the 1800s when the heat could kill you if you moved too fast, so you took your clue from your slow-walking pappy.  But it's 2009, OK, so move it.  Yes, I'm talking to you folks [y'all] at the traffic light after the light changes.  Push harder on the pedal.  Maybe the guy four cars back is in a hurry to use the bathroom.

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