Suburban shite might upset Baptists

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If some little dog shits in front of our apartment one more time I will certainly lose it. I am bound to scoop up the turd up with the closest piece of garbage I see and fling the brown bounty across the street where it will undoubtedly splatter across the big Baptist church. Now I am not religious, but I am also not one for defacing church property, so please, pesky pup, take your stanky business elsewhere.

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