To the two sketchy looking dudes strolling through my neighborhood last weekend at dusk banging on everybody's front doors: I want to thank you for making me feel a little bit more at ease about my dog. I'd always thought he was a big ole pussy. But then you coming banging on the door selling magazine subscriptions or vacuum cleaners or whatever and something funny happened. That wussy dog turned into a snarling, teeth gnashing badass. If it hadn't been raining all day, I'm sure I would have seen a puddle on the front steps.