Old, skeezy men stay home this Halloween. I like getting dressed up, or dressed down, and going out on this festive occasion. I do not however like being the object of some old man's extreme sexual fantasy. So stop buying me drinks like you own me, stop demanding my attention on the dance floor, and for the love of all things good, leave me alone on the way home. And if you're not going to abide by these simple rules, don't get offended when I say "Go fuck yourself."